you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
