Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
