I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
