you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
