the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
