So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
