Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
