R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
