thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
