im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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