i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Dignity is for republicans.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
