I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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