Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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