I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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