Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
