Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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