Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
