Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
