i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
