6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
