there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
