That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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