I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
