I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
