I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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