Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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