xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's blow job season.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
