school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
