what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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