worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
