You're my little dorito
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
