Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize