Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
