I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
