And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
