Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
