you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
