I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
