On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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