Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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