omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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