He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
