Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
