Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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