508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
