you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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