I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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