I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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