So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
