She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
